@mc_funbags: Grease is my favourite movie about how smoking gets you a boyfriend.
@Gooooats: My wife tricked me into marrying her by laughing at my jokes when we were dating.
@JKickinit30: The perks of being single:
* not having to share the remote
* sleeping diagonal in bed
* never having to clear browser history
@thenatewolf: Snakes can't win. They use the sidewalk and everyone screams, they stick to the grass and they're playing into hurtful stereotypes.
@murrman5: my neighbour ryan: I was at a zombie walk we all dressup and walk around downtown
me holding an axe: I wanna believe you ryan I really do