@TheRealRHB: Paid $50 for a device that has a motion detector that emits a sound to scare off neighbor's cat....she's out there rubbing up against it now
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@robyn_vo: I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn't tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
@vikkaroni: Me: Hello, my name is Vikki and I'm an alcoholic. Operator: Ma'am, this is AAA. Me: I know. I'm an alcoholic and now my car is in a ditch.