@GrandadJFreeman: *painting your nails* one hand : perfect. other hand : looks like a blind cat did it.
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@recoveringbapti: The word "Diputseromneve" may look ridiculous, but backward it's even more stupid...
@AhmedAllabidy: Don't go to a fight with a gun or a knife, Bubblewrap yourself, People won't fight when there's bubblewrap
@noog: *playing Mortal Kombat* Her: Can I try? Me: Sure. Her: Which one of them shoots that Handookie thingie? Me: Hadouken? Her: Yea. Me: Leave.
@TheAlexNevil: Cop: Sir do you know why I pulled you over? Me: You're the third policeman to ask me that tonight. They should really train you guys better.