@Smug_Lemur: Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.
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@AimeeHelene1: Do poodle owners realize they just bought a dog with a shitty 1980s white girl perm?
@Reverend_Scott: Son, it's ur 18th birthday, so I got u a brand new car... "OMG DAD. WOW-" ...dboard box. "But-" Pack up, ur moving out birthday boy.
@scharpling: In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE.
@Parkerlawyer: So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.