@ChrissieM10: Pandas are proof that you can get fat from just eating salad.
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@itsboyschapter: My mother always told me "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"...and some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.
@HiddenPinky: How'd you get a black eye? Walked into a door. [Later, another shiner] More doors? *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.
@K_blue: Playing hide and seek in my office building because they can't fire you if they can't find you.