@badbanana: Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I'm looking for the thumbs-down button.
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@DanMentos: "My first wife didn't have a gag reflex" Wow that's amazing "Yeah she never laughed at any of my jokes"
@Rollmaninoz: *stable* Me: that one Stable hand: ah careful ridin her, she used to belong to an old knight M: ok *Horse goes 2 steps forward & 1 left* WTF
@StellaRtwot: Why do other moms at the playground get all snotty if you ask their husband to push you when you're on a swing?
@MariyaAlexander: More "kills" on Tinder than any man in the history of online dating, Bradley Cooper is.... American Swiper.