@Underchilde: Panic rooms are a great way to protect yourself during home invasions or like if you forget your wife’s birthday.
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@birbigs: Alright. It's Sunday. Another Breaking Bad. Or if you don't watch the show, an hour of confusing tweets.
@thepunningman: I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
@copymama: Parenting is like being a dive bartender: people shout drink orders, you have to listen to their problems, and the place looks like a dump.