@JessicaVarsity: Pants are for people with something to hide.
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@shkeeber: I've been standing in IKEA with a lamp shade on my head for 3 days, hiding from the cops.
@JPHaddadio: Don't spend money on body modification. If you wait long enough, your body modifies itself for free.
@mrtruthandsoul: Wife: We're going to Jessie's BBQ today. Me: She's the one with the big--- Wife: They're fake! Me: So? -liveTweeting from the DogHouse
@QwertyJones3: HER: You can't even go 5 minutes without making a Star Trek reference. ME: Yes I Khan.