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@scorpiusryan21: Pants? You mean Leg Prisons?
@Marcmywords2: "Only God can judge me"
People who've never been to
@Naked_Superman: What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
@thatstings: My wife faked an orgasm, so I faked a mortgage payment
HER: wanna get outta here? *winks*
ME: hell ya
HER: whatya thinkin?
ME: lets go to my place and arm wrestle
ME: u scared?
@Brianhopecomedy: *bakes 12 cookies*
*waits for family to come home*
5 year old: "I SMELL COOKIES!"
"Weird! Here's a salad."