@robfee: Paper towel ads always show kids making huge messes then mom smiles & cleans it up. My mom would've handed me a mop then beat me with a belt
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@PaulyPeligroso: If the light turns green & the guy behind you honks cause he thinks you're taking too long to go get out & start checking your tire pressure
@xysist: If Noah was not holding ' Control ' while selecting the animals that were to enter the ark, then the Bible is a lie to me.
@cdncyn: I changed my name in my daughters phone to God.... I texted her and said "I saw that" You should of seen her face Priceless
@SortaBad: No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch