@robfee: Paper towel ads always show kids making huge messes then mom smiles & cleans it up. My mom would've handed me a mop then beat me with a belt
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CM2BTTHD: I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down.
@Darlainky: Interviewer- Marlene, what inspired you to pursue a life of comedy? Marlene- Well, I'm glad you asked... *Mouth directly on mic* YOUR FACE
@goulden_eye: Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. LOL just kidding it was double homicide.
@cool_as_heck: Me: smells like upyou'refreetogo in here. Cop: what's upyou'refreetogo? Me: *finger guns* catch ya later Cop: aww damn lol got me again