@robfee: Paper towel ads always show kids making huge messes then mom smiles & cleans it up. My mom would've handed me a mop then beat me with a belt
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Don't spit at your sister! 4: I'm a bunny. Me: Bunnies don't spit. 4: I'm an acid-spitting bunny.
@LuvPug: To the twenty something year old girls who think forty something year old women are jealous of them- enjoy your next 240 periods!
@Rollmaninoz: *Hello this is your pilot speaking, we still have about 9 hours in the air so let me entertain you folks reading you some of my tweets*