@BillMc7: Paranoid Mexicans have a Hispanic room.
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@JeffSarcastic: *sends epic tweet* [no likes 3 hours later] *waits 2 weeks, sends again* [no likes 1 day later] *starts typing* NSA: dude, let it go
@agathagotstoned: The plane starts going down. I say, "If we die, know that hat is hideous". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since.
@lisaxy424: [a person with cold hands] DONT YOU DARE TOUCH ME WITH THOSE [a dog with cold paws] POOR BABY COME HERE I WILL GIVE YOU ALL MY BODY HEAT