@TheAlexNevil: Parent Tip: don't tell your child "I'm waiting, I can wait all day if I have to" unless you've actually cleared your schedule for the day.
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@iinkedZombie: Cop: know why I pulled you over? "Hopefully to arrest me." Cop: [sees backseat full of screaming kids] sir, please step out of the vehicle
@mommajessiec: I’m not saying my life lacks excitement, but I did linger in the room my 6yo was playing in just to watch Barbie breakup with a horse.
@dmc1138: While everyone is busy complaining about their tweets being stolen & put on Facebook, I've quietly become the funniest person on MySpace!
@AbbieEvansXO: Date: I love car chase action scenes Me, a fruit stand vendor: I think we're done here