@Swishergirl24: Parenting is all about multitasking. Like trying to brush your teeth while you're rock climbing.
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@MarfSalvador: Me: *Puts on skis* I've not done this before! *Nervously pulls on ski goggles* Driving instructor: Please get out of my bed
@juliussharpe: I used to see people alone at restaurants and feel bad for them. Now I'm with a screaming two year old wondering, "Who is that solo genius?"
@Darlainky: Set your phone alarm to a song you hate. You won't hit snooze, because then you'd have to hear Nickelback again.
@sammyrhodes: Here’s a crazy idea. What if Budweiser took all that advertising money and actually made better beer?