@KenJennings: Parenting is all about wanting to say, "No one cares, honey" 100x a day AND NEVER DOING IT.
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@SortaBad: Ok No Loitering sign, let's get one thing straight: the type of people who loiter are not the type of people who know what loitering means.
@LaziestCanine: Doctor: this might hurt a little bit Me: okay Doctor: i like you, but only as a friend
@LindaInDisguise: Coworker: What was your college major? Me: How to avoid student-loan debt, with a minor in teen pregnancy.