@OneFunnyMummy: Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone.
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@caseytduncan: Ooop, you spit-talked on me. I'm just gonna pretend nothing happened and freak out inside my mind.
@retardedwriter: This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd "Shona baby"
@SuperJuanderer: If a spider attacks you, you should play dead. No, wait... that's for a bear. If a spider attacks a bear, you should play dead.
@ProdigyNelson: Her: when you said "magical in bed" this isn't exactly what I was exp- Me: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card Her: *softly* holy shit