@BadMikeyBad: Parenting Pro Tip: If a 5 year old says he needs a potty stop, or he's going to take a dump in the minivan, he's not making idle threats
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@MomOfTeen: Me: Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Padre: What is your sin, my child? Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .
@TheOneTrueDisco: Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
@JaneBadall: My son approaches even small chores with the enthusiasm of a POW forced to build a railway bridge over the river Kwai.