@Adam14: Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You're welcome.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FlyJ_: You know that one relative that is annoying AF and no one in the family can tolerate? Yeah, she's staying at my house this week.
@jake_lach: When someone walks next to me at the same speed I want to grab their hand and start skipping
@MomOfTeen: He approaches me from behind and wraps his arms around me and I am breathless. With one firm and quick thrust, he dislodges my food.
@AristotlesNZ: My psychiatrist says we need to work on my intimacy issues but then he's always the one who refuses to snuggle with me on his couch.