@FilthyRichmond: Parenting tip: Unplug the microwave before dropping acid because you'll inevitably put the baby in there for safe keeping.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VeggieMonger: Someone suggested that I try Acupuncture. I don't think adding more pricks will make a difference.
@HeroineAddict: *scrolls ur TL* *finds ur tweet from 2 yrs ago.* *eerily similar to mine from day before* "She stole my tweet AND built a time machine?!"
@WilliamRodgers: *Reads about a Salmonella outbreak on lettuce -NEVER eats Salad again! *Reads about the dangers of Alcohol poisoning -NEVER reads again!