@Tmoney68: Parents are hiring drug-sniffing dogs to find their kids' drugs. I couldn't do it. My kid already doesn't trust me, according to her diary.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: One alternative to having kids is to hire two people to sit in your car and start a loud argument every time your favorite song comes on.
@VaguelyFunnyDan: When I saw "likes music" on her dating profile, I almost fell out of my chair. Because I also like music. Holy shit she likes good food too!
@AGreaterMonster: The odds of an asteroid hitting Earth are the same as one bullet hitting another bullet in a duel. Dinosaurs: We'll take those odds!