@GrantTanaka: parents, please remember to teach your children not to talk to strangers, you know how boring your children are
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@GrantTanaka: at my funeral, I need one of you to stand up and ask if you can have your toaster back
@Reel2Dialog2: Pizza: You should totally eat all of me. Like, all by yourself. Me: What? No way. Pizza: Why not? Me: That's a really good point.
@Shock_Monster: Her: I saw this Yoda pen & I thought of you. Me: WHY? YOU THINK I'M 8 OR SOMETHING? Her: No, sorry... Me: Hey, hey, hey! Leave the pen.
@Sickayduh: I thought I saw Bradley Cooper but it was just every poem ever written formed into a beach sunset with amazing hair