@Steelers1972: Parents, raise your kids well, or they grow up to be like your coworkers.
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@kumailn: Doctor Who. He can travel to any planet during any period but mostly ends up in places that look like present day England.
@jjhartinger: ER Dr: What are you doing? Me: I'm decorating. ER Dr: Why? Me: According to my bill I live here now.
@batkaren: I always date mathematicians. That way when they ask why I'm breaking up w/them I can say DO THE MATH JERRY. Oh yeah & I always date Jerries
@GrumpyBahr: CW: My wedding is going to be expensive! Me: Wait till you see what the divorce is going to cost you!