@Steelers1972: Parents, raise your kids well, or they grow up to be like your coworkers.
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@Sassafrantz: Accidentally left my phone at home, now I know how Kevin McCallister's parents felt.
@SondraDeeMe: [party] ME: I'm uncomfortable BF: Just mingle ME: Do I introduce myself? BF: We're at your family reunion
@LionJenkins: I imagine colonoscopies are accompanied by the theme music from the underground level of Super Mario Bros.
@Ohgoddessitsme: When I'm driving I listen to the country station because it makes me want to get to my destination faster.