@shariv67: Parents tell you their baby's weight because they have no other information. They can't say "Meet Jim, a free spirit who's into yodeling."
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@VerifiedDrunk: Jill on Facebook is trying to find a way to get cat diarrhea out of suede boots and I don't think I'm hungry for lunch anymore. .
@TheSharona06: I'm amazed they make so many cars without turn signals. Seems like that would be a requirement on a vehicle.
@NYC_Blonde: I hate when my boyfriend's snoring wakes me up and then I realize it was my snoring and I don't have a boyfriend and I'm going to die alone.
@mattytalks: Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I'm pursuing you online and from my couch