@_PerziaN_: Parents that tell u "it's just a little noise" when their kid cries on a train are the same ones who knock on ur door when the music is loud
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@Sickayduh: "What's that?" - My new boss. He's very deciduous" "Decisive?" - Nope. I carved him from a potted tree. *squirrel peeks out of his mouth*
@Token_Geezer: *sees baby* *feels sad that my kids aren't babies anymore* *sees look of exhausted despair in baby's parents eyes* *sadness evaporates*
@WeissBrandon: Cop: do you know why I was following you? Me: WAS following? Wait you unfollowed me? Cop:haha Me:haha Cop... Me... Is it cause of the drugs?
@ArfMeasures:  ME:Make it enormous "But if I paint a red cross on ur door, ppl will think you've got the plague & never visit" ME:Make it enormous