@Arbitral: Parents who are afraid that giving teenagers condoms will just ensure they have sex to use them have obviously never owned a bread maker.
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@AbrasiveGhost: UK Scientist: We've engineered a new species of cyanobacteria U.S. scientist: We've made pigs in a blanket 50% piggier
@Maxine12333: Friend gave me a 'stress' ball to squeeze when I'm tense. Did what I always do when nervous, I ate it.
@TheAlexNevil: How come when a child shouts "This is dumb" at a wedding it's considered cute, but when I do it, I'm immediately replaced by another priest?
@ElKnuckelhombre: A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse.