@Arbitral: Parents who are afraid that giving teenagers condoms will just ensure they have sex to use them have obviously never owned a bread maker.
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@sammyrhodes: "If you have a ministry like Jesus it will probably be made up of about 12 people who don't get your illustrations, & 1 wants to kill you."
@trentistweeting: [feeding baby] Here comes the plane! *baby swallows food* wow you just ate everyone on board. way to go you little jerk
@FSUSteve: My mom just replied to my text with "K." Whooooaaa busy lady, is there some emergency over on FarmVille?
@Henry_3k: I'm not making a snap judgment of you. I've been following you around the grocery store for 15 minutes.