@FunnyJokeBook: Parents: "Why don't you come socialize with the family?" Me: *sits with family* *gets insulted by entire family* *goes back to bedroom*
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@Sean_Burgundy_: Apparently "Which one?" wasn't the best answer when my gf's dad asked me "What are your intentions with my daughter?"
@maurex23: "I like Trump because he isn't a politician." Right, because whenever my toilet breaks I call my electrician.
@Mike__Lee: I'm sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they've won the Canadian lottery.
@murrman5: I read that you should treat every night with your wife like your first date so after the movie tonight I'm dropping her off at her parents