@wolfmannjr: Parents yelling "I'm not going to ask you again" at their kids, will definitely be asking them again
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@jewfacekilla: "Wow you're one of the nicest old ladies I've ever met!"- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear
@JohnLyonTweets: I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it.
@SergioValenCo: Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don't know. Inspirational tweets are hard.