@Bob_Janke: Paris Hilton is worried ISIS will target her because she's famous. Paris Hilton doesn't realize that ISIS didn't exist in 2004.
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@Goofpoops: Life hack : Receive a wide assortment of yellow, orange, pink and red envelopes, free of charge, simply by not paying your bills.
@markleggett: I'm using an old Indian trick in order to wake myself up early: Eating several large curries right before bed.
@HatfieldAnne: When you offer me cookies, act surprised when I take one. Declare loudly you’ve never seen me eat dessert before.