@GabbbarSingh: Parliament should learn from Twitter, thousands of people shout here doing nothing productive, yet it never gets adjourned.
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@SweetTweetsBRO: I love when I'm walking closely behind a girl and she starts to speed walk away. It's like she knew I wanted to race all along.
@2tickytacky: I threw a dart at a map to pick a vacation spot and shattered the hell out of my phone screen.
@jwoodham: It's oddly fitting that most Americans celebrate Presidents' Day by taking the day off and not doing the job they were hired to do.
@SeiYoung83: [in HR] We're letting you go because you won't stop referring to going to the bathroom as "live streaming"