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@QwertyJones3: "Pass the joint."
-Cannibals at dinner
@amazymay72x: Once again, overheard my 13yo tell someone that I was born in the 1900s.
Now I want to hide under the covers and stab all her teddy bears.
@XGroverX: Dora the explorers parents don't give any kind of shit about Dora. She's 7 and she's flying planes and shit to South America with a monkey!
@MaryKoCo: If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it's almost not worth it
@CheryeDavis: If she's not ruining your life.....She's just not that into you.
@DirtMcTurd: [Watching "House Hunters"]
Jen is a housewife works on her art all day, her husband Tim manages a Taco Bell.
Tim: Our budget is $4 million