@MacAnnabella: Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.
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@QwertyJones3: PSYCHIC: I can see your future ME: Are you really a medium? PSYCHIC: *shows me the size on her shirt tag* ME: Medium. Son of a gun...
@SamReidSays: Netflix, stop making me wait 15 seconds between episodes. I can't click because I'm eating cereal and a sandwich.
@3sunzzz: [searching for a new church] Me: *calls* Yes, does your church offer complimentary WiFi, red wine and light appetizers? Church: *click*