@DanMentos: *passive aggressively turns off Christmas lights when someone stops too long to look at them*
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@i_theindian: When your nose is running and your feet smell, you are not sick you're just built upside down.
@Underchilde: You think you’re not capable of violence, but then a bird sings at 6AM and you start researching surface-to-air missiles.
@oakhillbargrill: Him: 'Sorry Mr Hill, no last minute call from the Governor. Any last words?' Me: -whimpering 'She squeezed the toothpaste from the middle'