@johndashgreen: Password must contain a capital letter, a number, a plot, a protagonist with some character development, and a surprise ending.
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@_SingleBabyMama: My 3yr old lost her mind because I apparently hurt her doll's feelings. I swear I've been nothing but polite to that doll but now it's on.
@therealeatwood: Pac-Man was trending today and I got kind of freaked out for a minute but don’t worry he’s fine
@bmarked21: From now on when people forcefully show me pictures of their baby, I'm simply going to reply, "Hmm... I've seen better."
@shutupmikeginn: A tall guy in movie theater just sat in front of me and he's on a date so he's going to have good posture the whole time this sucks