@ShawnIzadi: Password security questions be like: What's your middle name? Why are you single? What's wrong with your big toe?
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old daughter: I don't like my princess shoes with the heels. Me: Do they hurt your feet? 5-year-old: I can't run from zombies.
@BonaFideIntent: Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that.
@VodkaShorebird: A good way to help you determine who to weed out of your life is probably by how someone pronounces "coyote".
@huntigula: Jesus: He who is without sin may cast the first stone *guy with no legs throws rock* Jesus: Seriously? "You said 'without shins,' right?"