@novicefather: Past employers have described me as "selfish, egotistic, condescending, the physical manifestation of capitalism, and a true sweetheart."
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@muffinlab: What behaviour immediately makes u suspicious of someone? 4 me it's when they extend their cape w/an arm, then obscure the lower face w/it.
@emceej: Don't forget to smile today, but not that creepy smile that makes us all wonder how many bodies are buried in your yard.
@PaperWash: Mother's Day is just an another made up holiday so the government can sell you more mothers
@loudmouth_usa: Him: Going to Taco Bell, want anything? Me: I'm just thirsty Him: What do you want? Me: Six tacos and a burrito