@novicefather: Past employers have described me as "selfish, egotistic, condescending, the physical manifestation of capitalism, and a true sweetheart."
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@SkunkFarts: The American flag should be a picture of a cheeseburger watching TV on a couch made of fries.
@clarkekant: I wish everyone would stop vaccinating their children. It’s really cutting down these lines at Disneyland!
@BareChesty: If the tv show "Cops" has taught me anything, it's to stay away from ppl with blurry faces. They always cause trouble.