@Iaughing: Patrick: "Did you see my underwear?" Mindy: "No." Patrick: "Do you wanna?"
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@WhatevaConc: If I see you wearing those toe shoes, I will call the police and give them your description every time a crime is reported on the news.
@Gupton68: Went to the gym for the first time in months. It turns out I'm more ready for exhuming than I am for exercising.
@Maxine12333: If ex asks you to go bungee jumping remember, cord goes around feet not neck, no matter what they tell you.
@dave_cactus: DAD: Hugh, please. It's a perfectly fine name. Stop complaining. HUGH J'DISAPPOINTMENT: It's not my first name I'm upset about.