@jergarl: Pay attention to your kids... Because one day he will stuff a sugar free gummy bear in your mouth that he rubbed on a cat.
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@ghostkrogh: america: tremble at our nuclear might also america: we skip the number 13 on elevators when we build skyscrapers cos that's spooky
@TheToddWilliams: [murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes? COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works.
@Marilyn_Brando: *grandpa walks in with a bearded man in a plaid shirt & skinny jeans* "uhh grandpa who's that?" "my hip replacement"