@ImaFlyontheWall: pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window..
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@OreoSpeedwagon_: Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist
@truegritrumble: ME: *pulling up my pants* What's the prognosis, Doc? DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT?! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor.
@Andrew_S_Dykes: As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil 3 times a day in order to survive. Lucky my older brother told me about it