@JermHimselfish: Peanut butter and jelly are so in love with each other that all they do is lay around in bread all day.
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@behindyourback: Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.
@ThaJawn: *breathes on window creating condensation *starts to write in condensation *sneezes *head slams into window and breaks it
@KeetPotato: wife: dont do anything stupid on the way out me: i wont [shakes priest's hand after lovely wedding ceremony] me: so are you god's boyfriend?