@JermHimselfish: Peanut butter and jelly are so in love with each other that all they do is lay around in bread all day.
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@blacksab67: Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye is like Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye.
@MableGertrude: Friend: It looks like you're packing to go on an extended vacation. Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii? Me: No, this is just my lunch.
@hoops_Daddy: If it looks like a duck, Sounds like a cat, And walks like robot, You took too many pain killers.
@kumailn: Why didn't we learn about essential oils in school? I mean, that shit is ESSENTIAL. Should've been the first lesson!