@JermHimselfish: Peanut butter and jelly are so in love with each other that all they do is lay around in bread all day.
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@JasonLastname: If Edgar Allen Poe didn't have a cat named Poepurry, then I question him as a writer.
@careworn: Why do people insist on saying "You're next" to me at weddings? Do they not realize how serial killery that is?
@BrakSucks: [Me and a friend have movie night, order pizza and do some acid] Me: "Hell yeah" Friend: "Hell yeah" Pizza: "Oh hell yeah"