@timdonakowski: Pee your name in the snow and you'll quickly understand why they teach cursive in our schools.
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] Says here you're good with nicknames? "I don't wanna brag Super Cool Interviewer Man" *under his breath* holy shit he's good
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: So you collect pictures of guys with their height and weight? Sounds a lot like Grindr Friend: THEY'RE BASEBALL CARDS, JERK