@LuvPug: Penguins can't fly. Sometimes I get bummed out thinking about that. But then I remember I don't have to clean penguin shit off my car.
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@FO_ASchatz: I just pressed the Popcorn setting on my microwave and it showed me secret spy video of Kellyanne Conway eating lunch.
@Xalqee: My wife just sent me a text " I just bought you the best Christmas present! xox :)" .....I hope she misspelled Xbox
@Dadness_au: Just had a 10 minute argument about the importance wearing pants in public with a 5yo She won, today I wear pants when I take her to school
@Burger_Time_: Gramps' head was chopped off by a helicopter blade and same with his dad and his dad before him. So no Rod, you can't go to helicopter camp.