@Tmoney68: People always ask why I'm wearing a sombrero in my high school graduation pictures. Clearly, because it was my señor year.
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@dafloydsta: [trying to get a massage] How much for a happy ending? "Sir, this is a library!" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending?
@pleatedjeans: [standing in driveway with wife] I thought we agreed on a Prius [giant eagle pecks at saddle] NO THIS IS BETTER
@ClamDive: Every episode of my life starts with a short recap and the voice over says "Previously on wasted potential..."
@AristotlesNZ: We need a weapon that hits something only hard enough to really annoy it, then turns back around & attacks us! -Inventor of the Boomerang.