@_sleepysmile: People always comment about how young I look. I just tell them it's because of all the placenta I've been eating.
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@NickBossRoss: A friend and I just decided that in 10 years if we aren't married we will tell each other what's honestly wrong about ourselves.
@5exyunchained: How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
@pork_steaks: "Was this car tested on animals?" "sir animals can't drive" "will this car enable animals to drive?" "No" "SO YOU DID TEST IT!" "god damnit"
@Adar79Angie: If I had to list one thing I'm truly outstanding at I think it would be ripping open resealable bags so they are no longer sealable.