@towelforacape: People always say I make things sound sexual but I try not to pry them open and force my thick throbbing opinion down inside them.
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@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: I can't read your mind! How are you resisting me?! Rey: Occlumency lessons from Professor Snape.
@finah: this little girl next door just opened her window and yelled “what’s 49 plus 13?” so i yelled back 62 and she said thank you god
@weismanjake: I'm a vegetarian and when people say to me "you know Hitler was also a vegetarian" it always reminds me how many Jews I've been killing