@towelforacape: People always say I make things sound sexual but I try not to pry them open and force my thick throbbing opinion down inside them.
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@michaeljhudson: Whoops, pizza sauce on my hands. Better wash this off with soap and water. Oh poop on my ass? I'll just use this dry paper and call it good.
@mess_of_petals: [My relationship with TV] There's nothing on. *watches nothing for the next six hours.
@roggyie: If Tetris has taught me anything it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.