@JessObsess: People always tell me to act my age so I bought expensive cheese.
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@TwinSurvivalist: [Husband 911] Me: I just shattered the gravy boat. 911: She'll kill you. M: I know. 911: We never spoke. M: What? 911: Good luck * Click *
@iLikeCatShirts: House 4 Sale: older home w/ character & charm. Lovely bookshelves. Ignore Matthew McConaughey, we don't know how he got trapped in the wall.
@tombrodude: tinder, huh? back in my day if you wanted a girl to notice you, you had to dress like a gargoyle and cling to the roof of her parents' home