@PaulyPeligroso: People are all like "STAY OUTTA MY LIFE GOVERNMENT" and then they shut down and people are all like "COME BACK IN MY LIFE GOVERNMENT"
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@shanethevein: Want followers? Tweet something funny. Can't think of anything? Tweet something honest. Can't say anything honest or funny? Try Facebook.
@JohnsonDiaz21: A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything.
@chris_isloi: Everyone keeps returning to the same hypothetical. If loving you is wrong... Bullshit. What if loving you is gross? That's the question.