@jackmackenroth: People are always impressed to find out that I got my PhD at 17 but anything is possible if you work hard enough and lie.
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@TheRolo: I don't know who you are, but if you don't stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will kill you.
@dafloydsta: [speed dating] HER: So what do you- ME: How fast can you order a pizza? HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT
@TheRolo: I tried watching Inception with Twitter on. I still don't know what Juno was doing in their dreams.