@jackmackenroth: People are always impressed to find out that I got my PhD at 17 but anything is possible if you work hard enough and lie.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ohthatbadger: X: I hate when the cat just stands like that, frozen. Why does he do that? Me: He's on paws. X: … Me: 😁 On… paws. X: I hate you so much.
@SCBamaMan: I'll be signing books at the library tomorrow from 2-4pm (or until that librarian calls the cops again). Come on out!
@rdthought: Girlfriend: Stop lying around on the couch all day. Me: But you said we needed to start conserving energy.