@jwoodham: People are always impressed to hear that I graduated from Harvard at 16, but you can do anything you set your mind to if you just lie.
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@Bob_Janke: An 8 year old just asked me why people in electric cars don't get electrocuted when it rains and now we're checking Google
@TwistedEmbrace: I get 9" in bed every night. That's how much mattress is left for me once the dogs get comfortable.
@NoahJWatkins: "Do you smell the updoc?", I say to my pet bunny. My bunny replies with silence. I know that someday he will say it and I am willing to wait
@rolldiggity: INTERVIEWER: "How would you describe yourself?" ME: "Verbally, but I've also prepared a dance."