@jwoodham: People are always impressed to hear that I graduated from Harvard at 16, but you can do anything you set your mind to if you just lie.
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@jeffreyvanclea1: if a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ..i just get in the back seat
@Squirreljustice: I'm wearing a burqa, fencing mask, & a welding helmet while reading a book on cannibalism & an old lady on the bus still wants to chat.
@usermcuserface: Marty McFly had horrible parents. Sure teenage son, hang around with the weirdo scientist who lives alone and drives a windowless truck.
@RumAndReeses: My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass.