@Ameiam: People are always like "you're so crazy" and I'm all like "please take off the restraints, I promise I won't do it again".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ShutUpThatsWho: Interviewer: Your CV is a flip book of you setting things on fire. Me: Wrong. If you flip the pages the other way I'm putting the fires out.
@TheHyyyype: REP: we are pleased to provide u with the highest level of customer service! ME: oh sorry, got the wrong number. was tryin to call comcast
@The_Grant_Boldt: "Mom can you pick me up a new comforter at the store?" "Okay" *Mom returns with Morgan Freeman* "I love you mom"
@bossy_bootz: I notice you only call when you want something Person calling: ma'am your bill is 90 days past due