@katiefzack: People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter.
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@sixfootcandy: Me: (filling the medicine cabinet with ping pong balls) Him: What are you doing? Me: I invited your family over for dinner tonight.
@PaperWash: Mario Kart: 1) stays in first place for 3 laps 2) gets passed by 5 people at last second 3) slams controller 4) quits job 5) divorces wife
@lilgapeach30: I dance in my car, unashamed, in hopes of one day driving beside somebody as fun as me and sparking a dance off.
@caliluvgirl77: Therapist: we need to work on YOU taking responsibility for YOUR actions Me: *pulls a flask out* WHO PUT THIS IN MY PURSE?