@BigPlanetEarth: People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them.
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@ItsAndyRyan: PIG: "I'm paranoid everyone's trying to turn me into bacon" PSYCHIATRIST: "I'll cure you" PIG: "Oh God, not you too"
@omically: "Gary give me the gun" "I thought you had it" "I TOLD you to bring it" "I didn't" "who brought the getaway car?" -Disorganized crime
@MelvinofYork: At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
@Reverend_Scott: [1st day working at bank] BOSS: What are you doing?? ME: I gave that man a personal loan. BOSS: YOU'RE THE JANITOR